The Missionary

Cast: Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, and Trevor Howard  

Director: Richard Loncraine

90 minutes (15) 1982

Powerhouse / Indicator

Blu-ray region B

Rating: 7/10

Review by J.C. Hartley  

Early in his audio commentary for The Missionary (1982), Michael Palin indicates that what he wanted to do was take the kind of idea that fuelled his BBC television series Ripping Yarns (197-9), where he debunked a variety of British stereotypes from the Age of Empire, and expand it across 90 minutes. And this is pretty much what he does, and with some success. Ripping Yarns, for all the apparent affection with which it appears to be remembered, could be very hit-and-miss; Palin and Terry Jones, his writing partner, often failing to maintain the momentum of episodes which usually hinged on a single joke situation. The Missionary hinges upon a single idea too: Fortescue (Palin), the eponymous missionary, returns from a ten-year stint in Africa where his idea of morality has been liberated by the indigenous people there; seeing nothing morally wrong in sexual activity he takes up a position among the ‘fallen women’ of London’s docklands. And yes, that joke was entirely intended, and I’m glad to have got it out of the way.

Coming between his appearance on Great Railway Journeys Of The World (1980), and Around The World In 80 Days (1989), both for the BBC, it’s hard not to see Palin’s stint in Kenya among the Samburu people, filming for The Missionary’s credits sequence, as an indicator of the future route his career would take. Although still recognised as a comedian and actor, it is for his travel documentaries that he is now probably best known. It is ironic that Emma Thompson and Lewis Hamilton have been vilified in the press for their ‘hypocrisy’ in speaking out about climate-change, while jetting hither and thither in pursuit of their gainful employment, while no one points a finger at Michael Palin and David Attenborough, no less vocal in their activism, and no slackers themselves in racking-up air miles. Of course, for this nation’s predominantly right-wing press, women with strong opinions, and people of colour who have done all right for themselves, are easier targets than ‘national treasures’. But I digress.

Fresh off the boat, clutching virility symbols every bit as impressive as Agent Laurie Blake’s Dr Manhattan-themed big blue dildo from TV series Watchmen (2019), Fortescue bumps into Lady Ames (Maggie Smith), who handles his provocative gourds with evident interest. Fortescue visits his fiancé Deborah, who has grown into a young woman during his absence (goodness knows how old she was when he left ten years ago). Sadly, for Fortescue, Deborah appears to be more interested in filing his numerous letters and organising their forthcoming nuptials than indulging in a pre-marital kiss. Summoned to the capital by the Bishop of London (Denholm Elliott), Fortescue is given his new role in the church. The Bishop, content that the Church of England is doing its bit for the poor and homeless, is concerned that they are losing out to other denominations in the task of ministering to fallen women. Fortescue is tasked with opening a mission to these unfortunates in London’s docklands. Needing to fund the enterprise, Fortescue approaches Lady Ames, and her bigoted husband Lord Henry (Trevor Howard, doing his shouty bit from Viv Stanshall’s Sir Henry At Rawlinson’s End, 1980). To Fortescue’s great alarm, Lady Ames proves happy to supply funding but indicates that she requires a quid pro quo in the shape of Fortescue himself. Having declined Lady Ames’ offer, Fortescue is berated by Deborah who completely misunderstands the nature of his mission; visiting the Ames’ palatial stately home Fortescue is seduced by her ladyship and secures his funding.

Reconnoitring in the back-streets of docklands, Fortescue approaches Ada (Tricia George), in order to bring his message to his new congregation. Ada berates him for the church’s double standards, apparently she numbers church ministers among her clients.  When she accuses him of disapproving of sex he rebuts the charge, and to prove it goes to bed with her. With his new status, and with Lady Ames’ money, he establishes his mission which is soon filled with young ladies of the night. This is where the problem with the film begins. The voice-over narration (by Michael Hordern, who also plays the Ames’ butler Slatterthwaite), describes Fortescue’s success as being due to his lack of moralising and his ‘personal availability’. So, have the women given up their nocturnal employment because they are now subsidised, and any sexual requirements are equally subsidised in the shape of Fortescue? Apparently so. This seems to be a considerable simplification of the economics of prostitution.

In the audio commentary provided by Palin, over a scene in Ada’s flop-house, where a woman is shown berating a client, the actor says he had no wish to glamorise the reality of the profession, and certainly the film avoids the nod and wink seaside-postcard naughtiness of something like The Best House In London (1969). However, Fortescue’s method of salvation seems to entail providing a hostel where the women spend their time washing clothes and scrubbing floors, while he lies in bed all day literally shagged-out by providing for their other needs. When Lady Ames catches him in his night-shirt on the bedroom floor, with his bed occupied by three young women, she withdraws her support. The mission is saved by the girls returning to their former profession, and exceeding the sums provided by her ladyship. This turn of events suggests that the whole success of the mission was actually founded upon Fortescue’s provision of sexual TLC, rather than any attempt to transform the women’s circumstances. It is also unfortunate that on the one occasion when we see Fortescue being called upon to ‘minister’ to his charges, the girls concerned appear to be the adolescents, ‘some as young as 14 and 15’, that the Bishop of London has expressed concern about. Yes, they’re obviously actresses who look younger than their years, and this is a comedy, but with the news full of the fall-out from Jeffrey Epstein and friends’ sleazy lifestyles the scene makes for uncomfortable viewing.

Bereft of Fortescue’s attention, Lady Ames declares that she will have to take matters into her own hands to escape her loveless marriage. The nature of the Ames’ relationship is only hinted at. Fortescue discovers early on that the pair don’t sleep together, Lady Ames declaring that wasn’t the nature of the arrangement. Towards the end of the film, Slatterthwaite the butler visits his master’s room, and Lord Henry in an exasperated voice tells him to get into bed. I remember reading in Palin’s book Halfway To Hollywood (2009), that Trevor Howard was unhappy about any suggestions of his character’s homosexuality, Michael Hordern explaining to Palin this was some kind of ‘macho’ standpoint on the veteran actor’s part. Maybe this theme loomed larger in an earlier version of the script; Lord Henry has lost an earlier butler over what was ‘just a bit of fun’, which Lady Ames points out wasn’t how the unfortunate person’s parents saw it.  Lady Ames does reveal that she wasn’t born to aristocracy, previously she too was a prostitute, so obviously this has been a marriage of convenience intended to preserve her husband’s reputation. After hearing about a failed poisoning attempt upon Lord Henry’s life, Fortescue fears the worst and pursues the pair to Scotland, where it transpires that Lady Ames has seduced the gillie Corbett (David Suchet) into killing her spouse during a shooting party. I won’t spoil your enjoyment by telling you what happens.

These Blu-ray releases by Powerhouse certainly seem to go to town on extras. There is an audio commentary by Michael Palin in which, among other things, he reveals that the Samburu women in the opening credits declined to go topless for the dance sequences, as they had received complaints from American tourists and no longer did that sort of thing. He also mentions that Michael Hordern taught him to fly-fish while on location.  Director Richard Loncraine also supplies an audio commentary. ‘Palin And Smith: Compulsively Entertaining’, is a set of talking-heads interviews with the two stars, filmed separately, and on a quick viewing mostly Palin. ‘A Good Collar’ is a piece with costume designer Shuna Harwood. ‘A Very British Sound’, features musician Mike Moran who did the soundtrack, and who reminisces about his long-term professional relationship with George Harrison and with Handmade Films. In ‘Playing the Part’, make-up supervisor Kenneth Lintott recalls a very happy set, and has much praise for director Loncraine and for Michael Palin. Sound recordist Tony Jackson in ‘Snapshots Of Sound’, also praises Loncraine, and offers some anecdotes about teaching the children who feature in the opening credits the hymn that they had to sing.

Interestingly, he notes some of the problems associated with the provision of aid to indigenous people. The Samburu had been supplied with running water from a stand-pipe which impacted upon their previous nomadic lifestyle; establishing a settled community around a regular supply of water had resulted in problems of sanitation which had never been an issue when they had been on the move. In ‘A Stiff Old Fashioned’ comedian and writer Rob Deering remembers seeing the film as a youngster and not getting all the jokes, thankfully he does now despite appearing to be still only 15 years of age (he’s 47, and everybody seems like a teenager to me). There are a few deleted scenes, some without audio, and none of which seem to have impacted negatively on the film by being cut. That fine actor Peter Vaughan appears in one scene as a lemonade manufacturer who is happy to sponsor Fortescue’s new mission, believing it to be a way to boost sales in Africa, only to lose interest when he discovers its true nature. The scene contains an offensive racial slur and while Vaughan is always good value it was better cut. A scene that did make it into the final film is Fortescue and the Bishop of London’s trip to a public house, where the entertainment is provided by a singing cheeky chappie played by the excellent Neil Innes. This character’s song stuck in my head as an ear-worm for some days, thankfully it’s now gone.